Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas enjoyed a remarkable marriage that spanned more than four decades, until his passing on Sunday at the age of 88.
Thomas took to Instagram to share a heartfelt tribute to her beloved husband of 44 years, posting one of her cherished photos of the couple.
“I’m sure you’ve heard the heartbreaking news that I lost my dearest love last night, so I hope you’ll understand that I’ll be stepping back from this page for a while to focus on myself and the many people who loved and cared for Phil,” Thomas wrote.
She went on to express her gratitude for “the heartfelt messages of love and support that have been pouring in all day, and for the kind and generous way you’ve allowed Phil and me to share our life journey with you throughout the years.”
She continued, “Phil, who spent his career devoted to his audiences, truly enjoyed our close-knit community here, and I know he would be deeply moved by the warm thoughts and memories you’ve shared.”
Thomas added, “Until I return, I wish you health and happiness surrounded by family and friends, and I hope you continue to cherish those you hold dear, just as I was fortunate enough to do with my beloved Phillip. Love, Marlo.”
Donahue and Thomas largely kept their marriage private until recent years when they began to openly share the love and wisdom they had cultivated over time.
Last May, Thomas told People that the key to their marital success was built on “three Ls.”
I call it the three Ls: love, listening, and lust,” she shared at the Women In Media Foundation’s 48th annual Gracie Awards Gala.
“These are the three essentials. You have to listen to truly understand what the other person is feeling and thinking. You have to love one another. And without lust, the spark just isn’t there.”
The “Friends” actress also added with a smile, “He’s the best. I’m incredibly fortunate.”
Donahue and Thomas first crossed paths on his talk show, “The Phil Donahue Show,” in 1977, where the chemistry between them was immediately evident to everyone watching.
“Everyone called me, asking, ‘What was that all about?'” Thomas recalled during a 2021 appearance on “Late Night with Seth Meyers,” mentioning that even one of Donahue’s neighbors inquired about what was happening between them.
“It must have been obvious,” he added, “though we didn’t realize it at the time.”
Thomas shared that Donahue called her the next day to ask her out, and “that was the start of everything.”
In the beginning, their relationship was long-distance, with Thomas living in Los Angeles and Donahue in Winnetka, Illinois.
“Phil once said to me, ‘I just can’t see myself living in L.A. I don’t want to spend my life interviewing John Wayne. I could live in New York or Washington,'” Thomas shared with the New York Times in 2023. “And I responded, ‘Well, I can make a home in either New York or L.A.’ So, we chose New York.”
At the time, Donahue had been married before and was a father of five. In contrast, Thomas had never married and had no children of her own.
In a 2011 interview with AARP Magazine, Thomas remarked, “From day one, I decided I wouldn’t take on the role of ‘mother’ to Phil’s kids in the traditional sense — they already had a mother. Instead, I focused on being their friend.”
She continued, “I’m proud to say that the bonds we formed back then are as strong today, if not stronger, than they were 30 years ago.”
The couple tied the knot in 1980, but not without some last-minute doubts.
In a 2020 interview with Fox News Digital, Thomas revealed that they had actually broken up three months before their wedding.
“We were having a lot of arguments. We were both working and living in different cities, and the compromises needed to juggle two separate, demanding lives made everything so challenging,” the “That Girl” actress shared.
“On top of that, Phil had the additional responsibility of raising his four sons on his own. Eventually, we both realized, ‘We can’t keep doing this — not to ourselves and not to each other.’ So, we decided to part ways.
“Phil began dating, and I reconnected with an old boyfriend, but I was miserable. All I could think about was Phil. Then, in the middle of the night, I got a call — it was Phil. He said, ‘I never imagined anyone could be this irreplaceable.’ We were married 12 weeks later.”
In a 2023 interview with People, Thomas reflected on her wedding day, sharing that she was at her parents’ house, where the ceremony was taking place, and running late as she got ready. She admitted to her father, “I’m a little scared because I never really wanted to get married,” and he told her that she shouldn’t go through with it if she didn’t feel ready.
Eventually, she left the room to walk down the aisle with her father and had a moment of clarity.
“As I was walking down the aisle in my parents’ living room, I saw Phil standing there with his hands clasped, like a little altar boy, and I suddenly thought, ‘It’s just Phil. Why am I so scared?’” she recalled. “It was just him, and that was all that mattered.”
After they were married, Thomas and Donahue chose to keep their relationship out of the public eye, although they remained deeply happy and in love.
“We felt incredibly fortunate that our paths crossed when they did and that we chose to spend our lives together. That decision was — and still is — something sacred to us, and we were determined to protect it,” Donahue and Thomas shared with Fox News Digital in 2020.
In that same year, they published their book, “What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share the Secrets to a Happy Life,” to mark the 40th anniversary of their own marriage.
It was the first time the couple had ever collaborated on a project, revealing to AARP magazine in 2020 that keeping their professional lives separate had been an “unbreakable rule” in their marriage.
Through their book and later their podcast, “Date Night,” the couple delved into the intricacies of relationships by interviewing other well-known long-lasting couples, gathering and sharing insights not just for their audience but for themselves as well.
Together, they observed, “The truth is, there’s no one secret to a successful marriage. It’s made up of countless little things.”
“As for our own secret, you’ll find plenty of clues in the book — but one thing we knew for certain is that when we chose to commit to each other, we also vowed that no matter how challenging things became, we would never look for a way out,” they added.
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